![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
About my girls situation...
May. 13th, 2005 10:15 pmI've had this on my mind for a while, and I finally typed it as a comment in my friends xanga, after adding to it and making it more complete, i posted it here.
Well, the way I looked at is whole silly thing with girlfriends and crushes, is I asked myself, "why do I like them?"
answers were either...:
1)"She's a great person that I'd love to know better" <==but isn't that hella selfish? I mean, she is so wonderful that I want her for myself?? That's is such a lame excuse to have a crush on someone, I mean, it's a good reason to become friends with someone, but not to "claim for oneself."
or...
2)"She and I get along great together" <==that's a bit better. I mean, mutual benefit right? We love each other's company, so we'd like to have it as much as possible.
With that theory, going off of #2 as a legitamate reason to want to go out with somebody; then wouldn't the ideal situation be "She and I hang out together and love the time we spend together and it's all awesome, even without the sexual/cultural incentives for 'love'"? Yes, yes indeed. This is why, I'm just gonna wait till that happens. If it doesn't, well... I'll die alone goshdammit. To be fair, I'm friendly to all girls I meet, cause you never know how it might kick off.
You see, many infatuations are just idealizations of people I admire. So, why make it a crush? I think it could have been brought on social reasons, nuture, not nature. logically, why not have the person you respect so much to be your lover? It kinda makes sense (I admit that'd be pretty tight, but realistically: not practical), so in our desperation, it turns into crushes. I've gotten past that now. You see, I can go on idealizing girls, but that doesn't mean I have to like them (IOW, want them for myself). I'm just gonna be myself till somebody shows up, like said in the last paragraph.
Well, the way I looked at is whole silly thing with girlfriends and crushes, is I asked myself, "why do I like them?"
answers were either...:
1)"She's a great person that I'd love to know better" <==but isn't that hella selfish? I mean, she is so wonderful that I want her for myself?? That's is such a lame excuse to have a crush on someone, I mean, it's a good reason to become friends with someone, but not to "claim for oneself."
or...
2)"She and I get along great together" <==that's a bit better. I mean, mutual benefit right? We love each other's company, so we'd like to have it as much as possible.
With that theory, going off of #2 as a legitamate reason to want to go out with somebody; then wouldn't the ideal situation be "She and I hang out together and love the time we spend together and it's all awesome, even without the sexual/cultural incentives for 'love'"? Yes, yes indeed. This is why, I'm just gonna wait till that happens. If it doesn't, well... I'll die alone goshdammit. To be fair, I'm friendly to all girls I meet, cause you never know how it might kick off.
You see, many infatuations are just idealizations of people I admire. So, why make it a crush? I think it could have been brought on social reasons, nuture, not nature. logically, why not have the person you respect so much to be your lover? It kinda makes sense (I admit that'd be pretty tight, but realistically: not practical), so in our desperation, it turns into crushes. I've gotten past that now. You see, I can go on idealizing girls, but that doesn't mean I have to like them (IOW, want them for myself). I'm just gonna be myself till somebody shows up, like said in the last paragraph.
