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Ok, I will make this update as fast as possible, even though the subject is that of which should take time to be clarified, that won't happen.
Anyways, in my studies and painful attempts to finish my hw, I started to lose my motivation, and my will power, my "morale". Everything lost meaning in my eyes, everything was so vain, provincial and supercilious.
Since summer, I have been avoiding most of my friends, which is easy, due to the fact I have no lunch and no time to socialize with them anyways.
Why? It used to be because of how supercilious they were, and how they only saw things from their point of view. But after leaving their influence i realized that it was much deeper than that. It is because of conflicting priorities. What is important to them, is completely vain and empty to me. It's a waste of life, if you believe living were just for that, then you have no right to criticize those who endanger the world (social, environmental, political, etc).
So now, I find myself under the need to define my own priorities. For me to give my own meaning to those things I work for. I might even write them out for the sake of the possible instilling of stability in my life. However, it is much too important to be done in this time of agendas and schedules; it is far too dangerous to ask oneself the meaning of one's work while in it, especially in school. Unfortunately, I have already opened up that hole that I may start falling into. Therefore, I had to write an interim meaning to my life. It is not what I want it to be, but hopefully it will be able to drive my emotions enough to give me motivation. (for those who have taken APUSH, I would call this my Articles of confederation, and the constitution of my life will be written up later.
So here it is, the temporary thesis of my junior year:
"To prevail against the tyrannical social establishment & influences, and to prove the potential ability of an underdog through winning, even under disadvantages." as well as obtaining a right to pursue, through obtaining prestige.
Until school takes a long enough break for me to clear my mind and actually make deeper thoughts, I will dig no deeper into the meaning I wish to give my life.
So it turns out i may have done this more clearing than I have planned to, jolly.
Anyways, in my studies and painful attempts to finish my hw, I started to lose my motivation, and my will power, my "morale". Everything lost meaning in my eyes, everything was so vain, provincial and supercilious.
Since summer, I have been avoiding most of my friends, which is easy, due to the fact I have no lunch and no time to socialize with them anyways.
Why? It used to be because of how supercilious they were, and how they only saw things from their point of view. But after leaving their influence i realized that it was much deeper than that. It is because of conflicting priorities. What is important to them, is completely vain and empty to me. It's a waste of life, if you believe living were just for that, then you have no right to criticize those who endanger the world (social, environmental, political, etc).
So now, I find myself under the need to define my own priorities. For me to give my own meaning to those things I work for. I might even write them out for the sake of the possible instilling of stability in my life. However, it is much too important to be done in this time of agendas and schedules; it is far too dangerous to ask oneself the meaning of one's work while in it, especially in school. Unfortunately, I have already opened up that hole that I may start falling into. Therefore, I had to write an interim meaning to my life. It is not what I want it to be, but hopefully it will be able to drive my emotions enough to give me motivation. (for those who have taken APUSH, I would call this my Articles of confederation, and the constitution of my life will be written up later.
So here it is, the temporary thesis of my junior year:
"To prevail against the tyrannical social establishment & influences, and to prove the potential ability of an underdog through winning, even under disadvantages." as well as obtaining a right to pursue, through obtaining prestige.
Until school takes a long enough break for me to clear my mind and actually make deeper thoughts, I will dig no deeper into the meaning I wish to give my life.
So it turns out i may have done this more clearing than I have planned to, jolly.
